With a light heart
by insouuuuf
Summary: It's been a month now since Harvey and Donna moved to Seattle. And Harvey wants to develop new friendships. Starting with Rachel.


Harvey is in the elevator, surrounded by four other colleagues, all eyes on their folders with cases they probably are in charge of. They look... dedicated. Him, is standing tall, shoulders straight, coffee in his right hand, displaying a slight smile, ready to live this week.

Living it, not confronting it. Letting himself live the joys and heartaches. It's with a light heart that he goes out of the elevator, like he's been doing it for a month now since he joined his protégé in Seattle, with _her_. Everything wasn't perfect, for sure. A part of his family stayed in the other end of the country ; when everything finally started to feel good for once in his life, the loss of his mom marked his heart of a bitterness that he still feels as soon as he starts thinking about her, which he often does, in middle of the day or night. Harvey has regrets. Regrets that, sometimes, eat him up and makes him wonder if he deserves or not that happiness that overwhelms him nowadays. But as soon as he goes through those darkests thoughts and before being taken of an another panick attack, he forces himself to remember that he openly loves and he knows that he is loved. He is fulfilled with love and this thought, only, enables him to breath a little better, again. Day by day, step by step, he proceeds with that mental operation until this life becomes his new normal.

His new work environment encourages him in this new life ; people seem serene with themselves. They fight, yes, but they are ok with for what and for whom. Harvey almost wants to tell them « Thank you for being here. » Instead, before going out of the elevator, he scans their faces and tries to memorize them. He appreciates them, enormously.

The elevator stops in the 3rd floor, which is the top of the building. These are not Manhattan's skyscrapers but it is enough. He walks towards his office, which is, ironically, the same size as the one he had when he was a junior partner. The first time he noticed it, it made him smile. Like he had to rebuild everything from scratch. But he didn't mind.

In the hallway, he recognizes Rachel from afar, standing still next to his office, hands crossed in front of her, holding a folder. He smiles before even being face to face with her. Now that he's coming closer, she notices his smile and gives it back, saying :

« Harvey. »

« Rachel.

Are you here to invite me for breakfast cause I already one with my wife. » he answers, with the biggest smile on his face.

« You mean... » she leans towards him, smiling « Donna. »

The smile hasn't left his face and with his eyes looking straight into hers, he answers, with pride. « Damn right. »

With that, he enters his office and sits down on his couch. She follows him right behind, pursuing : « But back in New-York, we never had breakfast, much less talks about anything but work. », she says, interrogative.

« Oh I know, and back there I was also a dick to you. » And with these words, she's taken aback and doesn't know what to say except facing down the floor. He adds : « And I'm sorry. »

« No one is born perfect, Harvey. But you were there when it mattered the most » A pause. They look at each other, knowing exactly what she means by these words. « I got to admit it, you were the last person I was expecting to see at my doorstep that - » She inhales and exhales, reminiscing. « that... night. And yet... you were there. Because at the end of the day... you did care about me. And this is what I try to remember from you. » A new pause. They look at each other again, but smiling, this time. « That means a lot Rachel. »

It actually touches him more than he would admit it. His heart is a bit less worried for his relationship with Rachel after hearing her pour her heart out. It's quite amazing, he tells himself, how a few phrases can fulfill him with hope and enthusiam for the future of this friendship. But he doesn't know how to tell her without making her too much incomfortable because, after all, they've never been very intimate with each other. Maybe, with time, he hopes it, they will get a little bit closer and then he could finally tell her _how_ she's also a part of his family. Until then, a smile and kind words from his end will do.

« Well... uh I know you just got here but I already got some work for you...

-Yeah, sure, fire away.

-Great ! So.. hum, yesterday night, this kid came... »

They spent all day working on the defense of young 23 years old man who was working for a division of a huge corporation and got fired for taking a toilet break before his schedued one. If a case could summarize his new career path, this would be it.

They had an appointment with the young man by the end of the afternoon at his place to get all the facts and details, from his point of view. Once they were done and outside the house, they quickly planned their next moves for the upcoming days.

Too quickly. He never admit it to her but he always liked working with her by his side. Not only because she never disapppoints when it comes to work but there was something in their dynamic that made them complementary to each other. Something like with Mike and yet different. It felt like they shared work logics, she always knew exactly what he needed to win a case, even in the smallest details. It just felt... easy and efficient.

And now he did wish to spend some more time... just to get to know her. Something tells him he could be pleasantly surprised by her.

« Okay so tomorrow, I'll do some researches on all the precedents and I'll e-mail it to you, by the end of the day or the next one. » she says, her eyes fixated on her smartphone to order an uber.

He knows she's getting ready to go but he tries anyway :

« Hey, what would you say if we had some drinks ? »

She rises her head, surprised by his demand :

« Now ? Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, it's already 7pm and I've got this football game in an hour and a half...

-Football ? I didn't know you played ?

-Oh... No no ! » she laughs « No, I'm... just going to watch. Toronto VS Seattle, THAT is a game. »

He IS pleasantly surprised.

« I knew you dad was fan but I didn't know he passed his love for the game onto his daughter.

\- To tell you the truth, I'm not such a big sports fan but I do enjoy some of them ; the cheers and the friendly aspect of it. You just know you're gonna spend a good time and not a lot of places guarantee you that kind of happiness. My dad and I used to go to a lot of games until it became a habit and I went on going... by myself, actually. » She fakes a laugh and looks down on the floor « Which is... kinda sad. »

« Mike never went with you ?

-He did once but you know him... he's not such a fan and I didn't want it to become a torture for him »

He looks far way, smiling, and then redirects his face towards to Rachel :

« I understand. Once, we were talking about basketball and he said, with the proudest face» He impersonates Mike's voice « If this folder had played in that game, it would have scored 80 points. » He laughs.

« What ?! » she goes on, laughing too « Oh my god, the situation is way worse than I've thought ! »

She looks at him, thinking « You must have so much stuff to say about him.

-I do. » His look stays a bit longer on Rachel and then, looks away. She guesses what he wants to talk about : « Yes, Donna confessed to me. I can't say in detail what she told me because I'm pretty she sure she would want to keep some these things between us...

\- I understand » He cuts her off.

« But... » She sighs. « She always loved you, Harvey. She always did. And I'm not only talking about all the time I've known her. I'm talking about way before you both came to Pearson Hardman. You never had to earn her love, you already had it from the minute she met you. I guess, what I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up too much because it took that much time. It was your owndoings as much as it was hers. No one is at fault here. »

He nods but still, he can't get rid of an unsettling feeling everytime he tinks about his history with Donna « That's the thing Rachel, I'm just... » He looks away. His eyes starts watering, long enough for her to notice, but not so long that he can still contains them « I'm just afraid it took too much time. What's gonna happen tomorrow, next week, next month ? I just... I want to have more time.

-One day at at time, Harvey. » She cuts him off before he starts wandering in the darkest and wildest theories. « One day at a time. And Harvey... talk with her. Tell her all these things. You should adress everything that is eating you up to no one but her.

-Yeah... I know. When we got together, I've always been the one to reassure her about us and keeping my worries for me because I just didn't want to burden her with all my fucked up catastrophe scripts.

-Couples share the good and the bad. If you trust her and feel safe enough with her to do so, you should do exactly that. Otherwise you're going straight to a wall ! » recalling her time with Mike before he admited to being a fraud.

They stand in silence for a few seconds. Harvey breaks it : « I'll tell her to do the same too.

-Yes. It's just for the better. But I'm not too worried about you two, I can't possibly think about something that could break you guys up. You've already been though so much stuff that I just... can't.»

He nods and a car stops in front of them.

« That must be my ride to the stadium.

-You had time to order a uber. » He laughs « Damn, you act just like Donna, I think I may be getting a little scared. »

She laughs. He dares : « You want me to come watch the game with you ? Why not, maybe create a new habit out of it. »

She is beyond excited to have found a new buddy in him. He really is not the man she thought he was. Trying to hold her excitment over him for caring that she wouldn't feel too lonely tonight, she simply asks : « You would ? »

Without a shadow of a doubt, he firmly states : « I would. »

That's how Harvey loved Rachel, if she ever needed to know how.


End file.
